My team and I work with clients of all sizes across multiple industries, and lately we’ve noticed a disturbing trend that’s more damaging than many people realize.

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I call it “accidental gaslighting”, and it needs to stop.

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Here’s the short version, in case you’re not familiar with this pattern:

• A company downsizes or otherwise reduces budgets, headcount and resources.

• At the same time, expectations around performance, productivity and KPIs either remain flat, or worse, actually increase.

• Sometimes the expectation is that AI will enable almost magical levels of efficiency.

• Other times the expectation is that people will just suck it up and get it done.

• In almost all cases, the company makes a lot of noise around supporting people and having a collaborative, “get shit done” kind of culture.

• And in almost all cases, the reality is that people are under more pressure to get more done with fewer resources and even less clarity of vision.

 

Don’t get me wrong. Working hard is important. But when workloads become unmanageable—not just difficult, but actually unmanageable—it’s vital that we feel safe enough to openly acknowledge it. After all, we’re human. Even the most talented worker has their limits.

 

Even if you can do anything, nobody can do everything—at least not all at the same time.

 

Unfortunately, many people don’t feel safe expressing their limitations or drawing personal boundaries. All too often, organizations and teams aren’t open about how intense their workloads are. Instead, the internal rhetoric is exclusively anchored around moving faster, working harder, and getting stuff done.

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As a result, too many people are made to feel like they’re not working hard enough, just because their workload is so demanding. They’re made to feel like there’s something wrong with them just because expectations are so high or project deadlines are so intense.

 

While I would hope no manager would ever ask people to sacrifice mental well-being for the sake of optics or a more favorable QBR, that’s exactly what happens when unreasonable expectations are normalized and smart, well-intentioned pushback is penalized.

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This dynamic is made worse by the unspoken and pernicious belief that AI—a 24/7 resource that never sleeps, eats, gets sick, or has family obligations—should set the pace for how hard we all work and how much we should be expected to do in a day. It’s further exacerbated by a challenging job market and the fear that if I speak up and assert a personal boundary, I’ll be the next person to get fired.

 

The truth is, sometimes people are asked to do something that’s simply not reasonable or doable. Sometimes they’re not given any real direction, but when they ask for clarification, they’re ignored or ridiculed. But all too often, because no one else appears to be speaking up for themselves and setting boundaries, people are made to feel like they’re the problem, either for not knowing what to do next or not having the time to do it.

 

In short, it’s accidental gaslighting. And the toll it’s taking on people—individually and collectively—is much greater than any single statistic or Perplexity.ai search can tell you, because most people are suffering in silence—until they talk with their coach or counselor.

 

I’d like to think there are very few people who would intentionally make others feel bad for not being able to keep up with impossible expectations. I don’t think any of us would want to make other people feel crazy for not being able to operate with insufficient support and direction. But it’s happening, with greater speed and at greater scale.

 

That means the time is now to counter this with the only human resource that, in my experience, is even more powerful and accessible than fear.

 

Compassion. Proactive, heartfelt, no-strings-attached, unconditional compassion.

 

If you’re on the receiving end of these kinds unreasonable expectations, speak up as best you can. Find someone you trust, someone you feel safe with, and at least have an honest conversation around the situation you’re in. You may not have the luxury of being able to dictate your work situation. But you should never be deprived of the ability to express yourself and be heard. Give someone an opportunity to be there for you.

 

If you’re in a management position, check in with your people. Ask them how they’re doing. Then ask how they’re doing, really.

 

Normalize feelings of anxiety and unease. Of course people are feeling that way. Share your own uneasy feelings to help them see that they’re not crazy for feeling the way they feel. Help your colleagues find their voice. Help them set their boundaries. Help them see what choices they do have. Help them see themselves as the heroes of their own narratives, not victims or villains.

 

Do whatever you can to counter this avalanche of angst so many people are feeling. Be a human first and a coworker, manager or employee second.

 

The world needs it.